Category: aunthood

My uncle book arrived.  I have read a few chapters. There are numerous annoyances that I am not surprised to discover.  There are horrible gender cliches about how aunts are mothering and sensible while uncles are bad boy rules breakers who allow candy and ‘spin yarns’ at bedtime instead of telling stories. Looking past these shortcomings and the disturbing overuse of the term ‘bunkle’ I have found a few good points so far.

The author advises starting the bonding process immediately.  I wondered whether it would even matter whether I spent time with the little guy when he wasn’t aware of his surroundings. Even if it’s a little one-sided, there are two clear benefits outlined in the book that are encouraging.

First off, it will increase my own desire to bond with him.  If I start right in, I’ll look forward to more even if he doesn’t feel the same.

The other not so obvious but still important point is that making an effort right away announces my intentions to everyone else.  They’ll expect me to want face time and opportunities to bond and hopefully will encourage such things.

This all sounds a little stupid as I’m writing it down, but it makes sense, right?

I’ve gotten some advice via Google chatting lately.  See, already I’m a hip aunt.  I hear the young think email is old fashioned.

The latest tidbit I’m saving away is to have a willingness to do anything for a laugh.  Apparently it’ll come easy and I won’t be made fun of.  Perhaps I’ll start practicing some methods in the privacy of my own home before debuting them for the little guy.  I guess I’ve got time as they don’t laugh until 2 to 6 months. So I’m guessing funny noises and/or faces.  Waving my arms maybe.  Tickling and such.  I’ll be ready.

Thanks Ann for the advice and pictorial examples.

My internets searching led to a few online resources on aunthood.

This advice from eHow is definitely meant to solicit a laugh, but there are a few valid points. Providing fun firsts seems to be a common tip for an aunt.  I’ll have to start making a list. First beer, first cigarette, first arrest.  I also read a how-to on writing for the web today that warned against sarcasm, so just in case, please disregard the previous sentence.

WikiHow has concise and to-the-point instructions on aunting. Most of it is either obvious or complete crap.

There wasn’t much to be learned on the web.  Do people still call it the web?

From my own mother:

Some thoughts about Aunt Hood. My first niece was Kirsten. I was 18 years old and was on McNeil Island when I got the phone call. She was adorable, only 5 lb 12 oz. They visited a lot and when I got my job the next year, I used to give Ginny money for Easter candy and I remember buying tennis shoes for Kirsten’s one year. I always used to send birthday cards, this year I was remiss. Kirsten really appreciated it. All you have to do is just be yourself and the baby will love you.

One notable difference: I am 10 years older than my own mother was when she became an aunt. I can see advantages and disadvantages to this age difference. Most likely I have more means than my 18 year old mother did (better/more gifts?), but I think the older I am, the less cool I automatically become in the eyes of my nephew. I might be more mature and responsible but perhaps less fun?

So maybe everyone’s seen the Social Security Popular Baby Names. You can see how baby names rank throughout the years. My name was 270th the year I was born. It was way more poplar in the early 1900s, ranking 19th both in 1910 and 1907. Fine by me.

iVillage has got a great visualization tool for this database called NameVoyager.

I have only ever named cats and that’s hard enough. A baby will eventually be able to give feedback, so that eliminates a lot of choices that would normally be available. Muffin. Spike. Boo Boo. That sort of thing.

Names can morph, too. The unfortunate rhyme of my name, Annie Fannie, eventually evolved into Fonk and then Fonklure Manure.

As an aunt, I suppose I will be able to come up with my own pet name for the little fella. At least until he has something to say about it.

Hunting around for aunt lessons, I happened upon this little story:

An Expert’s Lessons on Being an Aunt

Though I can’t promise to remain single and devote my entire life to the “profession of auntship” I think I can take away one solid piece of advice.  Letter writing is important.  Why, I wrote one just the other day.  In fact, every time I feel I’ve been wronged, out goes a letter.  While auntship letter writing isn’t designed to elicit an apology and possible coupon or gift card, I think the skills will transfer.

Okay, so I’ll start here where I started myself.  At the library, of course.  I went into the library catalog and, feeling smug about my librarian skills, went straight for the subject headings.  I punch in ‘aunts’ and nothing looks too promising.  In fact, one heading stops me in my tracks:

Aunts — Crimes Against

At that point, I decide against subject headings and scour the catalog using keywords.  There wasn’t much to be had.  I tried Amazon as well and there were no how-to or dummies books for aunthood.  The only title I might try to track down is The Uncle Book: Everything You Need to Know to Be a Kid’s Favorite Relative.  It really seems to address my mission as an aunt and mentions Nintendo.  Hopefully it isn’t too man-centric.